i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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