i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
