I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
