after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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