dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
