Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
