I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
