did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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