Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
