Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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