dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
