shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
