dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
