whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
