Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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