apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
