You're completely useless in the revolution.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
its not stalking. its research.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
