did you get engaged???
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
