in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
