So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
