i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
