so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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