i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize