Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
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