I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
