can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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