i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
