Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
