Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
