haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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