I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
