Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
