Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize