Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
