well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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