are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
