How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
