He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
