Too much gin, very little bucket
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
