so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
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As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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