i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
