Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize