Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
