Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
