Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
