you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
