i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
