We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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