My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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