Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize