I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
