this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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