It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
