We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
