TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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