connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
