I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
