Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
