My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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