I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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