tell your sister to shave her snatch
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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