so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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