Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
